About Sex

ABOUT SEX!

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory....

I don't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and
'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try
Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Question: What's an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!

Cheers for the laugh Chips :) Brilliant!

Number 11, 13, 14 and 17 really made me LMAO!

I can't believe this thread has only had 1 reply, its so funny lol

I think number 3 is a classic, and number 4 is too :)

Funny stuff Chips, yes #3 is a stinger...

That was so funny!
The guy who wrote that joke definitely didn’t marry a Latin-American woman LOL.

love them so funny like number 1 and 15 made me lol

Lol, this is brilliant!!

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small. - whwhahahahahahahahahahahaha - Killing myself - well done chips

An old One but very funny Indeed.