Hey, just make me a rubberband sandwich and make it SNAPPY. get it? snappy? rubber, you know, like when you pull it, and it kindda like snaps, no huh, oh well.............................................. ..........OUCH, freakin rubberband!
Hey, just make me a rubberband sandwich and make it SNAPPY. get it? snappy? rubber, you know, like when you pull it, and it kindda like snaps, no huh, oh well.............................................. ..........OUCH, freakin rubberband!
Statistics have shown that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy!
onlinegamblingwebsites.com - Formally known as goodbonusguide.
Gambling Domains: Small clear out of some of the domains we've been hoarding on Dan - see the list here. Prices negotiable, and willing to swap for decent links.
FictionNet (2 June 2011), wagerjunction (2 June 2011)
Some deep thoughts from Jack Handey:
To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.
If you get invited to your first orgy, don't just show up nude. That's a common mistake. You have to let nudity "happen."
When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
More here:
http://www.uselessdata.org/deep-thoughts.htm
wagerjunction (2 June 2011)
Pleased to see that we've got more participants. Since the last list I posted had to do with guys I will show what a non-discriminative/NOT Man Basher I am by posting some about women. Enjoy!
Q - Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A - Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
- Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
- Why do women have smaller feet than men ? So they can stand closer to the sink.
- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
- I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."
- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
- One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
- The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" and I said, "Dust!"