Saturday morning joke

[xecutable]

A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity.

"First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..."

"I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money."

The Lawyer responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"

[ocreditor]

Haha - very black humor, but I like it. Enjoy your Saturday!

[michael1981]

LOL that reminds me of the telemarketers that always call me asking for money, I can relate to the lawyer (except I don't make anywhere near as much as him) haha Nice joke

[Gabriel_LCP]

haha nice! Have a great weekend!

[eaton2003]

A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity.

"First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..."

"I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money."

The Lawyer responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"

lol classic

[John Stanely]

This joke made me sad. It's so like our life. We often treat people exactly the same way this man does.

[grem]

a joke to remember the next time someone asks you for money lol

[DaftDog]

This joke made me sad. It's so like our life. We often treat people exactly the same way this man does.

Well then change your ways, give them cake.

[JenniferC@IA]

Anyone have a mid-week joke to share?

[wagerjunction]

Anyone have a mid-week joke to share?

Sure, got plenty of them. This one is funny without being too gross. Enjoy!


An American goes into a bar and sits down next to an English guy.

The American notices that the English guy has a huge BIC Lighter.

The American says, "Wow cool lighter, where did you get it?"

The english guy says, "A genie granted me one wish when I rubbed this bottle".

"Wow", says the American, "Can I have a go?"

"Sure", Says the Englishman.

The american rubs the bottle and the genie comes out, "You have one wish" Says the genie.

The American wishes for a million bucks, the genie grants the wish.

About 5 minutes later a load of ducks come into the bar, there are thousands of them.

The American says "I don't believe this I wished for a million bucks, not a million ducks".

The englishman says "Well do you really think i wished for a 12 inch BIC?".

[craig96]

Sure, got plenty of them. This one is funny without being too gross. Enjoy!


An American goes into a bar and sits down next to an English guy.

The American notices that the English guy has a huge BIC Lighter.

The American says, "Wow cool lighter, where did you get it?"

The english guy says, "A genie granted me one wish when I rubbed this bottle".

"Wow", says the American, "Can I have a go?"

"Sure", Says the Englishman.

The american rubs the bottle and the genie comes out, "You have one wish" Says the genie.

The American wishes for a million bucks, the genie grants the wish.

About 5 minutes later a load of ducks come into the bar, there are thousands of them.

The American says "I don't believe this I wished for a million bucks, not a million ducks".

The englishman says "Well do you really think i wished for a 12 inch BIC?".

God...I got the joke but it didn't make me laugh, lol.

This is the best one:

A man walks into a bar.......Ouch!

[wagerjunction]

Ouch indeed...

Well to end this perfect day, here is a bit of profound wisdom... haha

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Many men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground. They are not as good, but they were easy to get without putting out much effort.

So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Men, on the other hand, are like fine wine. They start out as grapes. It is up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

[JenniferC@IA]

Love them both Amy, nicely put (sorry guys lol)