No, you are not an idiot. This is how the things are. So either repeat the bullshit that Google shares and that people love to repeat over forums or simply get the job done. You are not idiot so you are not expecting that someone will really tell you how to deceive Google (and SEO is such deceivng)?
Of course Google tries to have the most relevant results and catch any manipulation of SERP, including the whitest seo; but of course he is constantly losing the battle even when they are more and more successful. It is a cat and mouse game, always was, always will be.
Of course it is the best "to have a brand". But it is too costly, way off for most people, unless you saw this 15 years ago and have established website, because big part of the brand for Google is just that the website exists for years. So almost anyone's competition today are those "spammy sites". Instead of constant whinging about them and what they should do or what Google has to do, is not it better to look at their SEO and do it better?
I am personally just happy to keep webistes as they are or in slow decline. I am scared to wake up and open email to see if there are some new problems in WT. Usually there is now some problem and Google does not even say what is the problem. Also it happened to me that I got message that some page is blocked, but it was not. I feel quite insecure to be dependant on the giant, but that is all I can do. They are a big corporation with behavior of corporation and things will get just worse. It means that the manipulation of SERP caled SEO might work even better, because they will be less and less efficient as any other corporation.
If you talk to God, you are praying; If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.