A man wakes up in the hospital

[Chips]

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."

The man perks up.

"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you make a decision?"

"Yes" says the man.

"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite countertops."

[Gabriel_LCP]

haha great one!

I didn't expect that ending... I hope all these married people not having sex jokes aren't 100% true in real life!

[Renee]

haha great one!

I didn't expect that ending... I hope all these married people not having sex jokes aren't 100% true in real life!

Me too!

[TravG]

I hope they aren't true either. Best to stay single!

[michael1981]

Even though he isn't getting sex from his wife, it sounds like she is a good cook at least lol

[Smoking]

Even though he isn't getting sex from his wife, it sounds like she is a good cook at least lol

Could also just mean she likes granite countertops only ! Only thing she makes is reservations maybe ?

[Jennytaketheworld]

A good one !

[ocreditor]

Ha ha

[Maria F]

JAJA that is so funny, but I bet that many wives would have a similar answer after been married for 30 years.

[Nick.RevenueJet]

So is this a true story or what?

By the way, if you're married and you don't have any sex you have to ask yourself why is it you're married at all.

[Thewordtree]

Hahaha! Sounds good to me Well maybe a combo will do as in compromise?

[davemerry]

Haha I didn't expect that ending at all!

[LuckyLizzy]

I just want to clarify for all that are worried about less sex after marriage. It's not true!!!!!!!!

My husband and I have more sex now than when we first got together nearly 11 years ago. Granted we are only 26 and got married at 19 so that might be why.

I always thought that it would be impossible to let that happen. Maybe low testosterone plays a factor. I hear the more a man is involved with raising his children, the lower his testosterone and sex drive becomes. I'm not sure about why some women stop putting out after marriage though. That just boggles my mind!

[casinoplanet]

Great joke with a nice twist

[Renee]

Phew. I was about to call off the wedding! LOL

[banksylondon]

that's what im talking about women rule in the home

[QuasarAffiliates]

Good one... always like to hear a good joke!

[Casino Online Rating]

hahaha good one!