You did something wrong, of course. Your soul will not be pure. Same applies to 100% people.
Why are Christians going to churches to purify their souls (or rather why they listen to authorities with the false promises)? It is the same reason.
Whatever you do, you do some good and some evil. That is just life. Trying to be pure is not just attribute of orthodox fanatics, but it is mentioned as an attribute of schizoids/schizophrenics.
Now just live with the fact, that you were naive and that the beautiful dream was just a dream. Grow up.
(all the comments above about responsible gambling and affiliation are pure bs)
If you talk to God, you are praying; If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.