Poo Calendar

[pandragon]

Poo of the Month
Saturday 1 May/Sunday 2 May 2010
Number Three

Synonyms:
Butt ****, Liquid Poo, The Runs, Oil Spill, Hershey Squirts, Monezuma's Revenge, Chocolate Thunder, Operation Marination, Operation Evacuation, Releasing the hounds, The Nile, Poo Stew, Gravy Poo, Rectum Rapids, It's Raining Poo, Deuce Juice, Turd Tea

Hershey Squirts I love it

[Renee]

I know eh?

I thought that was hilarious..

Wednesday 5th May 2010
Dr Stool Says
When Bigger Isn't Better

A colon polyp is a benign collection of abnormal cells that can be detected and removed with colonoscopy. There are two main types of polyps: hyperplastic and adenomatous. Hyperplastic polyps are benign growths that, except in rare cases, do not turn into cancer. Adenomatous polyps are precancerous and should always be removed. The general rule is that the larger the polyp, the more likely it is to turn into cancer.

[Renee]

Thursday 6th May 2010
Doo You Know?
Chamber Pots

A chamber pot consists of a bowl-shaped container with a handle typically kept under a bed. Chamber pots remained in common use until the nineteenth century, when the introduction of indoor flush toilets started to replace them. Chamber pots are still in use today in areas lacking indoor plumbing such as rural parts of China, and have been redesigned as a bedpan for use by the very ill.

[pandragon]

omai! Fart in council meeting I love the reactions!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrBaV...eature=related

[Renee]

OMG that was hilarious!

There is nothing funnier than a fart I reckon.

Friday 7th May 2010
Number Three
Sometimes Three is not a Lucky Number

This type of diarrhea makes you feel as if you are urinating out of the wrong end. A Number Three is often a violent discharge, sometimes with very little warning, and may often be accompanied by tremendous gaseous emissions. As you feel its sudden onset, your sense of relief that you made it to the toilet in time is quickly replaced by the ill feeling associated with the release of a Number Three. This type of poo is not pleasant.

Have a happy weekend folks!

[Renee]

Saturday 8th May/Sunday 9th May 2010
Pregnant Problems

The first thing many expectant mothers want to know is, "If I am experiencing GI discomfort and am constantly gassy and constipated, how is my baby?" You can rest assures that the discomfort you are feeling - as well as the sounds and smells you are releasing - have no effect on your baby. Although your spouse and coworkers are surely suffering from being close to you, your baby is oblivious to your digestive distress.


Happy Mother's Day!


Monday 10th May 2010
Lucky Load

While most agree that getting pooped on by a bird isn't much fun (just ask US President George W Bush, who got hit during a Rose Garden press conference in May 2007), many cultures around the world, including Italian and Indian, regard this mishap as a stroke of good luck.





This last one reminds me.. I went to the beach with my cousin and the first time a bird **** on her back. The next time we went to the beach a bird **** in her mouth while she was sunbaking on her back.

I don't care what anyone says, that's not good in any way, shape or form. YUK!

[ElaineGardiner]

SAlthough your spouse and coworkers are surely suffering from being close to you

LMAO

[Renee]

LOL

I have to say, I can't imagine what I'll be like when I'm pregnant... My spouse and coworkers suffer enough already!

[Luvin Poker Lin]

This is great I have just spent the last 10 min. reading about Poo.
Thank you I really needed a good laugh
Now back to work

[LuckyLizzy]

I am actually enjoying most of this stuff. lol! Keep them coming

[Adamvv]

I am actually enjoying most of this stuff. lol! Keep them coming

I've found your trick to being the "Most Active Affiliate Manager" Renee

[Renee]

I've found your trick to being the "Most Active Affiliate Manager" Renee

If only it was that easy!
I've asked many times - apparently they only count the useful posts... So these don't count

Glad everyone is enjoying these



Tuesday 11th May 2010
Dr Stool Says
Black Poo

Stool sometimes diverges from its usual brown colour and emerges as a dark black shade. This can be caused by foods that are high in iron (or iron pills), bismuth compounds (e.g. Pepto-Bismol), or blood (from higher up in digestive tract).

[Renee]

Wednesday 12th May 2010
Air, Anyone?

Aerophagia, or excessive swallowing of air, can cause excessive farting (and belching). Doctors can determine where the excess gas buildup is coming from by measuring the concentrations of various gases in expelled flatus. Swallowed air will be high in nitrogen (the most abundant gas in the atmosphere) while intestinal gas will be made up mostly of carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and methane.

[Renee]

Thursday 13th May 2010
Number Three
Why is it coming out in liquid form?

Diarrhea has two main causes: GI tract infections and maldigestion. Inadvertent consumption of bacteria/viruses/toxins from undercooked meat or week-old potato salad causes the small bowel to secrete large volumes of fliud into the GI tract. This deluge of fluid, coupled with brisk intestinal transit (picture the torrent of Class 5 rapids), results in the delivery of large amounts of liquid to the rectum. Cholera infection is the most severe example of this. The diarrhea produced by cholera is classically referred to as having the consistency of "rice water" and leads rapidly to life-threatening dehydration.

[Renee]

Friday 14th May 2010
Odorless Fart

An odorless fart is like a delicious low-calorie desert - all the pleasure with none of the guilt. Odorless farts provide immediate physical relief from gaseous pressure while simultaneously providing psychological relief when its lack of aroma is realised. While highly desirable, especially for those working and living in close quarters, the odorless fart is also unpredictable. It should also be noted that while claims of odorless flatus are plentiful, the truly odorless fart is indeed rare. Just as there are parents who believe their kid to be the most adorable on earth, there are equally delusional individuals who allege passage of unscented flatus as their norm.

LMAO

Have a good weekend all!

[Renee]

Saturday 15th May/Sunday 16th May 2010
The Third Fiber

While dietary fiber has historically been divided into insoluble and soluble forms, a third type of fiber called resistant starch is getting increased attention because food high in this form of fiber are thought to be more palatable than other type of fiber. Foods high in resistant starch include bananas (when they're green), oatmeal, and lentils.


Monday 17th May 2010
Honeymoon's Over Fart

Similar to the Honeymoon's Over Poo, the Honeymoon's Over Fart signifies the development of an unwavering trust, or over familiarity, in a relationship. There is some debate over whether the Honeymoon's Over Poo or Fart comes first in the natural progressions of a relationship, but it is well recognised that some couples who unabashedly drop the deuce will stifle, sometimes for years, the urge to flatulate audibly in each other's presence. Because escape is not always possible, many newlyweds have mastered techniques aimed at diminishing flatal sound and smell. Remember this the net time your loved one cracks the car window in the middle of a snowstorm, stating "Honey, it's getting a little hot in here..."

[Renee]

Tuesday 18th May 2010
Dr Stool Says
Waving the Red Flag

Specialised tests can detect microscopic amounts of blood in your stool (as little as 0.5mg of hemoglobin/day). Be careful, though, because what you eat may affect the result of these tests. Red meat can make it look as if you are bleeding when you are not (animal hemoglobin is detected in the stool). Another surprising culprit? Horseradish.

[Renee]

Wednesday 19th May 2010
Number Three
Explosive Diarrhea

Impaired digestion is the likely cause of diarrhea when a bowel movement's explosion is particularly violent. in lactose-intolerant individuals, ingestion of dairy products results in the production of copious amounts of gas and liquid stool. If severe enough, the expulsion of these "contents under pressure" can cause your significant other to run for cover.


Tomorrow I'll post all of the ones that will occur while I'm away on my trip so that you don't miss out...

Cheers

[Renee]

Thursday 20th may 2010
Doo You Know?
Potty Training Statistics

Age Percent Potty-trained
2 4
2.5 22
3 60
3.5 88
4 98

Girls seem to get the hang of the potty faster than boys. Seventy percent of girls are trained by age three, versus fifty percent of boys.




Friday 21st May 2010
Farting Relationships

Poo is considered by many to be the most unseemly bodily waste product. Based on this, it seems unbelievable that people openly moving their bowels would feel self-conscious breaking wind in their partner's presence. One explanation for this discrepancy is that poo is typically deposited in a separate room and the final product can be quickly eliminated (with a flush) while flatal stench, once released, cannot be contained. And although flatal sound lasts but a second or two, a particularly bombastic emission can remain indelibly imprinted in the minds of bystanders.




Saturday 22nd May/Sunday 23rd May 2010
Blue Fart

Like the pink diamond, blue farts are rare (and highly coveted). The blue hue is created by the expulsion of methane gas, produced by only one-third of would-be-fart-lighters. Surprisingly, the rest of us lack the necessary genetics and bacterial composition to produce methane gas, thereby limiting our flatal colour spectrum to orange and yellow.



Monday 24th May 2010
Get in My Belly!

Sometimes you can sense it coming. You skipped breakfast to make it to the meeting on time. The conference room is, of course, inhumanly silent, just as a bit of fluttering begins in your vacant stomach. What starts out as in innocent murmur eventually builds into an all-out rumbling heard clear across the room. You knead at your stomach and attempt the occasional throat-clearing or paper-shuffling as a means to mask the sound, timing these actions tot he predicted onset of the next wave, but, alas, you are helpless to stifle these gastric reverberations.


Tuesday 25th May 2010
Dr Stool Says
The Constant Pooper

The feeling of constantly needing to empty one's bowels, known as tenesmus, can be a sign of a serious underlying medical condition. When accompanied by rectal pain and bleeding, the most unpleasant sensation can be the first sign of an intestinal inflammation, most commonly a result of either ulcerative colitis or Crohn's disease.


Wednesday 26th May 2010
Number Three
Lactose Intolerance

More than 70 percent of the world's population has some degree of lactose intolerance, a condition caused by efficiency in the intestinal enzyme lactase. Lactase is the enzyme that digests lactose, the main sugar found in dairy products such as milk and ice cream. The highest rates of lactose intolerance are found in Native Americans and residents of Southeast Asia, where rates can approach 100 percent!


Thursday 27th May 2010
Doo You Know?
Low-Flow Toilets?

The toilet is the single largest consumer of water in the home, using 30 percent of the daily total. But new toilets can bring that number down. High efficiency, low-flow toilets use only 1.1 gallons or less per flush, compared to 1.6 in standard models, and 3.5 gallons in pre-1994 models. Switching to one of the new toilets will reduce daily flush volume by 60 percent or more.



OK guys thats all I'm going to post today.. You'll get the rest when I'm back on the 1st of June.

Happy travels for those heading to the conference.. Happy reading for those who are not.

Ciao!

[TravG]

Saturday 15th May/Sunday 16th May 2010

Monday 17th May 2010
Honeymoon's Over Fart

Similar to the Honeymoon's Over Poo, the Honeymoon's Over Fart signifies the development of an unwavering trust, or over familiarity, in a relationship. There is some debate over whether the Honeymoon's Over Poo or Fart comes first in the natural progressions of a relationship, but it is well recognised that some couples who unabashedly drop the deuce will stifle, sometimes for years, the urge to flatulate audibly in each other's presence. Because escape is not always possible, many newlyweds have mastered techniques aimed at diminishing flatal sound and smell. Remember this the net time your loved one cracks the car window in the middle of a snowstorm, stating "Honey, it's getting a little hot in here..."

Like this one - you always know who your friends are! When you can hot box someone and they laugh they are a keeper! Umm maybe I do it to early....is that im still single?