What the...?

[DaftDog]

Fact of life #09785

[LuckyLizzy]

I have never heard this one before! LMAO Wednesday Thursday and Friday always make me say WTF

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
A day without sunshine is like..., night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
OK,..... so what's the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Monday is a dreadful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Found these one liners on a site that is suppose to cheer people up during their work week.

[Mel_am]

Found this ones… though they were hilarious!

• Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
• Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
• They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance

Enjoy this half week cheep up!..just like I did!

[patmcluk]

Excellent selection.

One saying that always stuck on me was:

No matter how warm, gorgeous and sexy you think a woman is, there is another bloke somewhere thinking that she is the bitch from hell!

[DaftDog]

Seriously, WTF!

[Chips]

Anything is possible except going through a revolving door with skis over your shoulder.

[Renee]

Seriously, WTF!

That is one of the funniest ones I've ever seen..
Bwahahahah

[SlotsAff]

Quality!

[wagerjunction]

Got this one from a friend and thought it too good not to share...


For our company's last picnic, management decided that, due to liability issues, we could have alcohol, but only one drink per person.

John was fired for ordering the cups…

[Mel_am]

Got this one from a friend and thought it too good not to share...


For our company's last picnic, management decided that, due to liability issues, we could have alcohol, but only one drink per person.

John was fired for ordering the cups…

Buhahaha thats hilarious!

[wagerjunction]

A few more before the weekend:

- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
- A good day is when the **** hits the fan and I have time to duck.
- We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
- When there's a will, I want to be in it!
- Wanna get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
- Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic and say, "Just who do you think you are?"
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

[Gabriel_LCP]

All these life lessons at once! Thanks! my favourite was "he who laughs last thinks the slowest"... it could be true you never know